Things the Doctors Said

In the Emergency Room:

* I can't assess your knee because it's too swollen.
* I could draw some of the fluid off of that knee, but it's going to hurt worse than you're hurting now.
* You need to see an orthopod.

In the Ortho Doc's office:

* I can't assess your knee because it's too swollen.
* Don't wear those flip flops. You know they were invented to keep ortho docs in business, right?
* I'm leaving this practice next week.
* Here. Take this informative brochure entitled "Now That You've Torn Your ACL". It's going to come in handy.
* If all the joints were to cast their ballots, the knee would be voted Least Likely To Succeed.
* No. You cannot go on your kayaking vacation.